In Conclusion…

Geez, talk about slackin’… Truth be told, there hasn’t been much to write about since my last entry. T2 departed a week ago (on his 22^nd birthday!) and B and I have pretty much just been enjoying a little mellowness before we depart on Friday.

Well somewhat mellowness I suppose. We finished the first round of mixes last Wednesday; the day Tom left. We then had a nice break between then and Monday when Francis returned home. I can’t say it’s been totally peaceful though. There is still a masterpiece to complete and the further along it goes, the more pressure there is to make sure everything is just how we want it. You really miss the other three members dearly when all the instantaneous decision making falls on the two of our heads. You get so used to a five man panel, that when its reduced to just two, every decision seems so heavy. Of course they sent along their notes, but a lot of what one person says differs from the next and without the ability of debate, B and I have to make the final choice. Timesaving yes, stress-saving no…

So what else can be said? The songs sound great. Many of them exceeded all my expectations which creates an interesting perception problem when I listen to them. You see, for instance, we have a song called ‘Radio’ which was one of our stronger tracks coming in, but – once recorded – it sounds exactly how I pictured it. There are no surprises; it came in a great track and it leaves a great track. On the other hand there are songs like ‘Seamless’. A song I had a plan for, but no wild expectations. In the end, it blows my mind with how far along it came and how gorgeous it sounds, but is it actually better than ‘Radio’ now, or is it simply that it blew all my expectations for it away that gives me that perception? Tough to say, but fuck, it’s a great catch 22 to be in, that’s for sure.

I know how hard it must be for a teacher to mark their students work now. You have the kid that gets 95%, and above, on everything. When he hands in his final paper you expect 95% results, but if he only gets a 90% you’re probably somewhat disappointed with him. On the other hand, the kid scraping by with a 50%, hands in an ‘A’ paper for his final. It was no 90% but are you now more impressed with the kid who got the 80%?? Does he leave you with the better final impression? And was his paper truly an ‘A’ paper or did you mark a ‘B’ paper more leniently because it came from a ‘D’ student?

Lets just say after 6 weeks here, my brain is tired. I’ve been so engulfed with these songs for so long now that I don’t even know what to think of them anymore. I’ve played, listened to or analyzed them every day for months and it doesn’t stop, even after they’re recorded. But then again, maybe that’s not for me to worry about anymore. I’m done with them. I’ve created them, nurtured them, curbed many of their faults, and now I’m ready to send them out into the real world (actually we are). One that is harsh and rarely positive. I can only hope that I’ve brought them up to withstand the critique; to surpass another ear’s expectations as they all have mine. Only then will I be able to look back and truly think we did something great here. And if not, chalk it up to another experience I will never forget and always cherish, even if on some levels it may have come up short. But as I said, that’s all for someone else to determine and I’ve never really paid much mind to what someone else thinks. I wouldn’t have even been here in the first place if I did…

 

Thanks for listening to me again. The journey isn’t the same without you guys. Can’t wait for you to hear it.